Archive for January, 2006

1308

In a post a couple days ago, I was talking about how I needed something in my life that I can work towards, and basically live around. Well, I decided what it was that I’ve been missing.
Designing websites. I really miss designing websites for bands/record labels, making friends with the guys/girls, getting into [...]

In a post a couple days ago, I was talking about how I needed something in my life that I can work towards, and basically live around. Well, I decided what it was that I’ve been missing.

Designing websites. I really miss designing websites for bands/record labels, making friends with the guys/girls, getting into shows, taking photographs of them, and basically running the website. I miss that alot. I started to work on it when I was doing Kinsey’s website, but I kind of lost contact with the one kid, and that basically kind of fell off of the planet.

Right now I’m working on Tradition’s website. It’s located at traditionhc.com, which is registered and hosted through my company, holdfire.net. I also got the chance to meet Josh (from the band) last night at the show; They’re also playing a show in April that I’ll be at, in Nasville, TN.

Anyway, I’m going to work on my portfolio again, but it’s going to be meager. I haven’t worked on anything in almost two years. Much of that data was lost on my old pc, and the disk I backed it up to went corrupt, so I have alot of work to do. Stefan, I also wanted to know if you’d partner up with me on this. I’m not doing it to make money right now, I’m doing it to build up my cred–and I know you design AWESOME fucking shit, so if you’d ever want to help me out with designing logos/merch, I’d love that. Seriously. And i Know you would too.

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asdfa

i can’t sleep.
black cross/us lions show was tonight; went to it with ryan.
met alot(!) of his friends. had fun.
taco bell kicked my ass again tonight.
i should’ve remember my lj post about it from last time.

i can’t sleep.

black cross/us lions show was tonight; went to it with ryan.
met alot(!) of his friends. had fun.

taco bell kicked my ass again tonight.
i should’ve remember my lj post about it from last time.

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say anything.

‘You’re what keeps me believing the world’s not gone dead, Strengthen my bones, put the words in my head, They pour out to paper its all for you, cuz that’s what you do’

‘You’re what keeps me believing the world’s not gone dead, Strengthen my bones, put the words in my head, They pour out to paper its all for you, cuz that’s what you do’

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1305

It’s kind of funny what life drops on your plate unexpectedly.
09 September 2004 @ 11:38 pm
Jordan’s new goal: Charelestown, Indiana.
Or maybe some schools in Indianapolis.
yeah.
i’ll talk more of this another time.
for now you’ll remain clueless.
and holy shit, indiana is actually being contemplated.
how many times have i knocked that bumfuckofa state anyway?
too many.
hAHHAHAHHA HOOSIERS.

HONESTLY:
[...]

It’s kind of funny what life drops on your plate unexpectedly.

09 September 2004 @ 11:38 pm

Jordan’s new goal: Charelestown, Indiana.

Or maybe some schools in Indianapolis.

yeah.

i’ll talk more of this another time.
for now you’ll remain clueless.

and holy shit, indiana is actually being contemplated.
how many times have i knocked that bumfuckofa state anyway?
too many.
hAHHAHAHHA HOOSIERS.

HONESTLY:
In September 2004, I didn’t think I was going to move out here AT ALL, or even meet Chris.

In September 2005, I didn’t think that in a month, he’d be cheating on me.

In January 2006, I didn’t think that I’d find someone who’d make me feel whole again.

i feel creepy lurking on my own journal!

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i don’t know

I’m kind of scared that I’m going to mess up with the new relationship. I’m not comparing it to my last, I’m not going to expect a huge future out of it. I’m taking it day by day, because I’m scared that I’ll do or say something too soon, and he’ll run away from it. [...]

I’m kind of scared that I’m going to mess up with the new relationship. I’m not comparing it to my last, I’m not going to expect a huge future out of it. I’m taking it day by day, because I’m scared that I’ll do or say something too soon, and he’ll run away from it. Mainly it’s due to the fact I was used to seeing him 24/7 and life being like that, that I expect that right now.

It’s hard for me to see Ryan a couple days out of the week, but I can adjust to it (eventually!) I’m notorious for developing feelings quickly, and vastly. It’s happened in the past. I fall in love like the world is going to end tomorrow. I admit, I can fall out of love just as quickly, which yeah, that has happened. I’m not sure why, but with Ryan, I can tell that it’s not some little phase. Okayokayokay, I said I wasn’t going to try to expect a huge future, but I’m a girl, I’ve read god knows how many romance novels, I can’t help it. My imagination does run wild, and yeah, I kind of had this feeling of a future. So I kind of knew that I wanted to make this relationship special. Basically I wanted to do what I haven’t before. To take it day by day, go slow.

Confusing would be the best word to describe this post. Somehow I can’t really put my feelings into words, and even I might be misconstruing my own words. BUT… I do know that I have major feelings for him. And I know he’s going to read this, but I’m horribly scared of mentioning them. For one, being that I’m his first girlfriend, and I don’t want to make him feel like I’m trying to rush things. Because I’m not, just in the past, alot of relationships have been rushed because, well, it’s been my feelings, and the people I get attracted to are generally the same way. Except… well, okay it wasn’t always like that, it was mainly with Chris.

IM SURE THIS BULLSHIT MAKES NO SENSE. I don’t even know what the point of this is. I guess I just kind of wanted to get it out, to just write it down somewhere instead of having it brewing inside of my head. I guess I just this to work out amazing for Ryan and I. This feeling is basically me wanting to give him the entire world, to give him what he’s never experienced, to make him beyond happy, and to give him whatever he’s never had.

I’m just horribly scared of fucking up somewhere along the lines. And by fucking up I mean how I act/react/say. Not so much fucking up like cheating. Because quite frankly, cheating appalls me. It’s happened to me. The only kind of pain I would ever want that afflicted on would be Katie. Because I’m revengeful.

holy crap i just need to not think right now. haha.
-creeps on back to working on website-

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